Toolkit: A Personal Account
A huge thanks to Helen (mum) and Faye (CYP with Stargardt's) for their brilliantly honest account of their experience as a family with Stargardt's Disease, and what has helped them along the way.
Parental Support
Receiving your child’s diagnosis is a shock and coming to terms with the implications of sight loss for your child is a grieving process for your child, you, and your wider family. Understanding what it means to be visually impaired, and accepting sight loss may take years. This is to be expected. Having a progressive condition is likely to mean your child will undergo cyclical patterns of grief over time. This will undoubtably have an effect on you too.
Take heart from the fact that the visually impaired community is extremely warm and welcoming and aim to reach out to sight loss charities for support when you feel you can. They can provide reassurance, information, and hope for the future for both you and your child. Guide Dogs have a family support service and RNIB run courses for parents to support them in the early days of a diagnosis. Members of the Stargardt’s Connected community will understand specific challenges your child may face and how this may impact on you and your wider family.
In order to support your child (particularly if they are diagnosed in their teens), make sure you have someone to talk to and share your worries with. Try to encourage your child to listen to or speak to others from the VI community if they are receptive to this and continue to encourage them to access counselling or mental health support as time goes by. Sight loss is a traumatic and life changing event which shouldn’t be underestimated. That said, it’s important to recognise that your child’s life isn’t over, they will just need to learn new skills to help them achieve their goals for the future.
Don’t be afraid to gather a team around your child to support them and meet their needs. Central to this is a good relationship with your child’s school and staff members. Not all areas of the country will offer the same levels of local authority support and whilst your child may not receive a legally binding ‘Education Health Care Plan’, this doesn’t mean they aren’t entitled to have their needs met both in and out of the classroom. In time you will need to increase your confidence and ability to explain and advocate for reasonable adjustments in all areas of your child’s life.
Social and Emotional Wellbeing / Communication and Interaction
Losing your sight after what you believed to be a fully sighted childhood is huge. It is an enormous adjustment and can really rock your sense of who you thought you were and who you believed you were always going to become. Be prepared to lose both confidence and motivation at times throughout your sight loss journey.
A diagnosis of Stargardt’s is unique in that you weren’t born without sight, you didn’t lose vision as an infant, it didn’t happen overnight, no one can say exactly how quickly it will progress and at this point there is no cure. There are a lot of unknowns, and as a young person with sight loss, you are a minority within a minority disability. You probably won’t have any additional needs and to start with at least you won’t look ‘blind,’ which will make it difficult to explain what is happening to you to those around you. This may make you unlike anyone else with sight loss your family or school community has come across before. In addition, you can’t compare your sight to that of your family or friends, as you have probably never seen how they see anyway, and there are no useful ways to describe what the loss looks like to you, only how it affects you.
As a teenager you may be highly resistant to doing anything which makes you different to your peers and you may well not want to be ‘outed’ in front of your classmates or made to feel that you need special treatment. You should educate your school staff on what you need from them in terms of respect and discretion. This does not need to be done face to face and could take place through a ‘Things you need to know about me’ type document.
Having a named person within your school setting that you can go to when things get difficult is really helpful. They may be able to resolve issues of seating, resources, homework extensions etc, as well as being someone you can discuss your fears or worries with e.g. around transition, revision, and exam times.
When and how you tell people about your sight loss should be on your terms (though you will have to accept that some key adults within your life will have to know for your safety). Not everyone needs to know straight away. You could start by telling close family members and friends, and others you currently go to school with or socialise with may potentially never need to know. That said, young people tend to be both tolerant and understanding of difference, so don’t be afraid to explain your difficulties to others in simple terms and to ask for help if you need it.
It is important for your friends/school staff to know the limits of your vision e.g. that you can’t see where they are as you enter a room, their facial expressions during conversations, where they are pointing etc. Ask them to use your name rather than smiling or waving, to agree to meet you in particular places at lunch and break times, to wear brightly coloured clothing if you are trying to follow them when out and about, and not to be offended when you seem to ignore them in busy places. You’re not being rude; your vision just misses subtleties.
Try not to compare yourself negatively to your peers. They are probably going to have a longer concentration span than you and they can probably read and reply to text messages and complete homework tasks more quickly than you, but that doesn’t make them ‘better’. You wouldn’t expect someone with a broken leg to win the sprint at sports day, so you must accept some of your limitations, but it’s equally important to try and level the playing field, so that with appropriate support and plenty of effort you can still achieve what you’re capable of.
Self-advocacy is a key skill you’ll need going forward as a visually impaired person. Take all the opportunities you can to speak up for yourself and for others too. As your confidence grows, consider attending an online self-advocacy course through a sight loss charity like VICTA to help with this. At some point in your educational journey you won’t have a parent or trusted support assistant available to speak for you, so it’s good to start practising within your comfort zone whilst you can.